Lesser Evil

What is the lesser evil?

Dear Leo,

What is the lesser evil?

Sorry to be writing you so soon after my last email, but some more things have come to light. If you recall, when I last wrote to you, I was still trying to make up my mind on what my limits will allow me to do especially if it comes to turning these Outsider weapons against civilians in Amba. The day after I sent you that, I got a call from Aarti. 

I was at home, still thinking over my words with Betaal. Mom had asked me to get some groceries. She said we were supposed to be having visitors, but she was being very cagey about it, and I had a sneaky suspicion that it was going to be some marriage broker. I was at the general store, when my Devi buzzed. I answered it automatically and a female voice spoke.

“Have you thought about my suggestion?”

 I checked the ID but it said “No Tag”. The voice seemed familiar though.

“What suggestion?” I asked.

“To help me, to take down your ...employers.”

It was Aarti.

“You said you would contact me in 24 hours. That was a week ago.” I retorted.

Aarti sighed heavily.

“I was...held up. I had some things to resolve, bring the operation back up to speed.”

She had been held up alright. By me, at hornpoint, and I had probably taken away her proof and her sources. I vividly remembered the conversation we had had last, but as far as I knew, she had no idea.

“What do you want from me?” I asked, keeping my voice calm, while strolling through the aisles.

“Can you pick up eggs for me? They’re on your left.” She said, casually.

I nearly whipped around, but she said, “No, keep looking ahead.” 

She could see me, she was definitely near me, but I didn’t know where. That made me nervous. I realised that there was a deadened feeling in the back of my neck. She was close enough to use her jammer on me which blocked out Betaal’s implant. I kept walking down the aisle, knowing she would have to stay close. 

“Look, I don’t know anything about what you …”

“I’ve been watching you. I know you don’t really do any journalism work anymore. You’re officially listed as employed, but you don’t act like it. I don’t have access to your financial records yet, but I will soon. I know you keep travelling to the Red Corridor but I don’t know why.”

She spoke hurriedly, barely giving me a word edgewise. 

“If you ask me, you’re working for them.” She finished with a flourish. 

“Who are them, exactly?” I smiled. I didn’t know why but I felt like I had a small victory here. The last time we had met, she had not recognised me. And the fact that she only knew that I was going to the Red Corridor, but not what I was doing there, that told me more than she intended to.

She replied, “They’re… they’re vigilantes, they’re undermining the security of the nation, and the mandate of SATARC. We are responsible for border control.”

I smiled, while I tossed a packet of idli batter into my basket. “You’re worried they’re taking your job?”

Aarti sounded frustrated, “No, that’s not it at all… Outside the Wall is chaos, you know that. SATARC keeps order inside it. These people...they are inviting chaos into our land. They use people like you to do their dirty work. And leave it to us to pick up the pieces. And when they are done with you, they sacrifice you too. Why do you think no one knows about them?”

That gave me pause. “And why do you know about them, if they even exist? You a conspiracy theorist?”

“No!”, she replied vehemently, “I see things for what they are. The thing you encountered? Do you know there is no official record of the incident happening? The only reason I was allowed to follow up on it, was because of the foreign language violation.” 

Something didn't track. This meant SATARC or someone else was actively erasing information about the Outsiders. But why? Didn’t it make sense to have everyone know the risk they were facing?

“Why wasn’t there a record then? I thought it was important enough to be looked into.” I offered cautiously.

“You see why I need your help? Things don’t add up here. Two months ago, a Muslim man was found dead, with a gaping hole in his torso in Ajinkya Dhakka, dressed in riot armour and a full facemask. It was chalked up to a gang war. One month ago, a Sikh woman was found plastered into a wall near the Matsgram docks. She was decapitated and the wound was charred. Bulletproof vests and full facemask. Official report: mugging.” She took a deep breath.

Leo, I didn’t know what I was thinking at the time, but I thought about what she said later. That...that could be my fate. It worries me a bit. But at the moment, I think I was more concerned about what she was telling me. I wanted to know how much she knew.

“Last week, I encountered exactly one of these people. Combat gear, full face mask, some sort of pulse energy weapon. I had a tip-off that the leader of this whole operation was going to be in Bundergah. I could actually get proof and bring the whole thing down. But I was waylaid by one of them, and I lost what I had. This is why I’m coming to you now. I need your help, now more than ever.”

I could feel my jaw clench. I do not know if she was watching. 

“You’re telling me these people kill whoever they want and then bury the evidence, and you want me to go up against them?”

“I know, it’s a risk. Or you could...just leave. You could get out now.” Her voice took on a tone of concern. “You fit their profile, a minority with no real career opportunity. But you’re just a pawn in their game, easily sacrificed. They do not care about you.” 

I bristled slightly at the no career opportunity thing. “And you do?! Look, I appreciate your advice. But as far as I know, I’m not involved in any such thing. Sounds too dangerous for me, y’know, someone with no real job.” I was prepared to walk away, when she said something strange.

“Aren’t you at least curious to know who you’re working for?” 

 “I’m not… this is getting really tiresome, and I don’t want to keep repeating myself. I don’t work for anyone. If I ever find out that I’m employed without having known it, I’ll let you know.”

Aarti laughed quietly, as she said, “You’re just playing their game, you will land up dead. I hope you know that.”

The call ended. I turned to look but I could see nobody. I walked to the edge of the aisle to see if I could spot anybody. When I walked back, the packet of eggs I had picked up was gone. So was the numbness in the implant. Aarti was gone and she had left me with too much to think about. 

What if she is right? What if the Vikram’s are just pawns in whatever game the Protector is playing? Does Betaal know?

And if that is true, who is the lesser evil here? SATARC, trying to balance law and order, by cracking down on any and all violations? The Protector, and Betaal, who are willing to attack citizens of Amba to defeat the Outsiders? Or the Outsiders themselves, who do not seem afraid to kill us, to gain whatever nebulous purpose they are trying to achieve?

My head’s feeling fucked thinking about this, and I just needed to write to you and air out my thoughts.

Tell me what you think. 

Love

N

PS: I noticed that Aarti always used “I” and “me” to talk about this operation of hers. I’m thinking that SATARC doesn’t have her back on this. Why is she doing this at all? What is she trying to do? I don’t know but maybe I was wrong to have declined her offer outright.