Renaming

Don't you think renaming things erases their history?

Dear Leo,

Remember how much we were annoyed when they renamed our city? I recall petulantly screaming the name at people or off of our balcony when we had time to spare. This was before they started to cut up people just for using the name in public. Nobody calls it that anymore, at all.

I only ask because today, after many, many years I saw a sign that actually said Ambium Ward Limit.

It was in Karka Village. The voice in my ear chimed early morning and asked me to go there. Karka was in the Red Corridor even before you left, I think. It’s still in the Red Corridor, absolutely nothing was done to improve its state. I think there was a series of riots later, I don’t really remember. Mom nearly caught me in the morning, trying to sneak out with my bodysuit and full face mask. Thankfully, I had stuffed the whole thing in a backpack. She asked me where I was off to, so early. I grunted something about work. She looked at me with that look though, you know the one, like she sees right through your dirty schemes. She didn’t say anything so I left. 

The metro was still being sanitised when I got to the station, so I had to take the longer route.   

I hate overground travel into the Red Corridor. Hate it. It’s not like it was better when you were here. But the frequent stops, the random checks, the occasional frisking for people smuggling things into and out of the Red Corridor. That’s only gotten worse. At one point, I had to walk through a whole intersection in Nyun Parli. In the distance, Dwaraka Tower was still twinkling in the rising sun, still as ugly as ever.

Do you remember him? I’m sure you haven’t forgotten THE Ambian. I don’t even remember the last time I saw Ambian outside of Dwaraka. He’s been holed up there since forever. It’s funny because I was looking at the tower, thinking it was really ironic.  Ambian changed his name to fit the city, then the city went and changed her name on him. It doesn’t stop people from claiming it was the other way around, you know. The city named after him. 

Hilarious, honestly.

About half an hour later, I had reached Karka Village. The border of the Orange Corridor and the Red Corridor was barely even marked out. Old police roadblocks, dusty and disused, littered the streets. Somewhere behind me, I could hear a child crying. The buildings were dilapidated, but clearly lived in. I could see through cracked windows at shadows of people. Here and there, dupattas and lungis were fluttering from window sills. It was not a ghost town, just ...it just felt dead. No, worse, it felt like it was dying.

That’s when I felt that sort of ASMR flutter in the back of my neck and the voice in my ear rose up.

“They can’t be saved, Vikram. We have other things to do.”

“My name is not Vikram!” I responded vehemently. A vagrant lying on the road a few feet away gave me a sideways look. (You know how I feel about renaming. It has to make sense, otherwise it’s just erasure. The Betaal never asked me for my name.)

“It is now, as far as I’m concerned.” The voice was nonchalant.

We walked past the sign that Ambium Ward Limit. Somebody had scraped out the ‘d’. Still made sense.

“Well, we are here. Now what, Betaal?” I asked out loud.

“You will address me as Betaal only if you are absolutely sure no one is listening.” Betaal said, almost in a whisper.

I could see a small area where the buildings had collapsed and given way into a sort of clearing. I could even hear a gentle buzzing coming from within the clearing.

“There. That’s where you need to go now.”

I said nothing, but picked my way through the rubble.

As I entered the open space, I saw them. Four iCleaner drones.

They wobbled a bit where they floated, about a few metres apart from each other.

“Why are they shaking like that?” I said out loud.

Betaal replied, “You see it, that’s good. Duck.”

I said, “What?” and nearly couldn’t say anything more because one of the drones had dive bombed into my face. The damn thing flew past me and circled back.

Betaal spoke, “Faster next time.”

Meanwhile, the others had circled around me. Up close, I could see that they all seemed to be maintaining very eccentric arcs, unlike the rock steady iCleaner drones I was used to seeing.

Betaal preempted my question, “We are overriding their central commands. Sometimes, the superimposition of the two command sets causes this. But they’re still fairly accurate. Drop to the left and roll.”

This time, I managed to heed Betaal’s warning. Rolling away, I saw one of the drones behind me cut through the space I was in, just a moment ago.

“But you’re the one controlling them, what’s the point?” I shouted as I got to my feet.

“The point is to learn to trust me. Jump high and forward.” Betaal barked that last bit.

I jumped almost instantly, and the third drone flew right under my toes. I landed, but I couldn’t stick it and crumpled. 

“That’s okay. It’s a start. Left. Jump. Freeze. Feint Right.” Betaal continued to issue directions.

My body got slowly attuned to parsing the instructions and performing them, even though I am not remotely in the physical condition to carry them out. The drones moved in complex choreographies around me, narrowly clipping me or just about grazing my extremities. I was getting tired though.

“Are you just making this easy?” I said, as I dodged and parried.

Betaal laughed, an actual honest-to-God laugh.

I stopped moving, and one of the drones banged my shoulder and crashed into the ground. I held my shoulder as I turned to look at the downed drone. It was pitifully struggling with a mangled rotor, unable to lift off. 

“You’re learning. Eventually, you will trust me enough to save you.” Betaal said, his tone jovial.

I slipped out the stick that I’d stored in an inside zipper. 

“I don’t need saving.” I said, as I pointed the stick at the drone on the floor and pressed the button on the end.

It expanded in my hand, glowed and the tip sparked.

Then the fucking thing buzzed and died out.

Betaal cackled louder in my ears. 

That pissed me off though, so I drove the stick into the innards of the drone. That did the trick though. The last of the energy from the stick coursed through the drone and shorted it out completely. 

That shut him up.

Honestly, possibly the most badass moment of life till now.      

The drone chittered and died. The other three immediately came and carried it off. 

Betaal was silent the entire time.

“Well, don’t you have anything to say?” I crowed. The adrenaline was a fucking rush.

“What you hold is a horn. It’s one of the more powerful of the artefacts the outsiders leave behind. No wonder the Protector wanted to bring you in.” Betaal said, his voice soft and quiet.

I turned the thing in my hand, which had shrunk back to palm length. The light glinted off the embossed letters.

“What is SRNGA?” I ventured.

After a moment’s pause, Betaal replied, “We don’t know. All we know is that we find those letters on some of the artefacts. And your horn needs to be charged. You need to expose it to sunlight for a few hours.”

I slipped the stick, or horn, or whatever back into the zippered side pocket. 

“We done here?” I asked.

“For now, Vikram. For now.” Betaal replied.

I had one more guess to make.

“You’re not just a military-issue Betaal, are you?”

Betaal simply said, “No. No I am not.”

I nodded and started walking out of the clearing.

When I crossed the line from the Red Corridor to the Orange Corridor, I felt that incessant buzz lift from the nape of my neck. Betaal was gone.

The metro was running but the stations seemed very crowded. They were doing full body scans at the entrance, the lines were doubled up. I decided to walk instead, at least for a while, till I could cross to the Green Corridor at a less observed check point. Longer route, but ultimately safer.

When I made it home, Mom was sitting on the couch. 

“You’re late,” she proclaimed, as soon as I entered the house. “You missed mass.”

Ugh, I knew I had forgotten something, but I was not about to let it go. “First day of work, Ma. I got busy.” 

Mom grunted but didn’t say anything. Her glance darted briefly at their room, where Dad was lying down. Finally she replied in a low voice.

“First day of work. Nice excuse.” 

You know how she gets in these discussions.

After a good shower, I went back out and lay down in her lap. She was looking at the television and absent mindedly stroking my hair. 

“Do you ever worry about Leo?” I asked her. I was reviewing all the things that I wanted to write to you, and I accidentally said this out loud.

“He’s in a better place now, so no. But I wish he were here. He was always more considerate than you.” She smiled a bit. 

Told you she misses you.

Love

N

PS: I can feel when it’s safe to write these, because I don’t feel the weight of the Betaal on my shoulders or in my neck. But I have to be careful. And I have to train everyday. I’ll write when I can.